Whose food would you steal?

You know things are slow over in the HR department when you receive a corporate email with the subject line "Lunch Room Refridgerators". Apparently, and I quote, "food has been going missing from the lunch room refridgerators." I've done an informal office poll. Some people, like me, have never had their food stolen, but others are eager to tell stories of lovingly prepared dishes, placed carefully in the lunch room fridge, only to be snatched by some devious monster.

A few questions come to mind. Firstly, the logistics of finding a chance to be in the kitchen alone, steal the food, AND find a time and place to eat it would seem near impossible. Is the thief taking the food and running to the bathroom to eat it? Hiding it in their desk drawers? Coming in extremely early or staying late simply to steal food?

Secondly, how do you know someone else's food is even going to taste good? Who knows what's in there? It could be some kind of unclean person who didn't wash their hands while cooking or licked the spoon 37 times. EW. You're essentially kissing that person by eating their germy food. And it's not even a FRIEND.... it's the food of a RANDOM STRANGER. Why is this appealing??

Thirdly, is anyone at work actually so hungry and so poor that they can't just go downstairs and grab a slice of pizza or a cup of soup? It would be a guilt-free way to satisfy the growling stomach.

I can't wrap my mind around WHO would be cheap enough, evil enough, and sneaky enough to actually steal food from the fridge. Is this a common occurance in most offices, or just ours? Most people here seem cool, normal, and well-adjusted. Are they all hiding alterior devilish personas??? Someone, explain!!