What I've learned.

I'm currently 28.8 years old, and have learned a few things in my day. Here's a quick "TOP TEN LIST" - a summary of conclusions I've made thus far.

1) You get what you pay for. This is always, always true. Most recently, I've discovered this with paper towels. It's just not worth it at ALL to buy the cheap non brand name paper towels. You might as well be wiping a regular piece of paper all over the countertop, because that's the same amount of absorbancy you'll get with the cheap paper towel brand. Buy the thick fluffy ones, unless you want to be really frustrated.

2) Lazy people don't deserve jobs. And yet - they have them! People with zero work ethic should be banned from the workforce, and from receiving unemployment assurance or any kind of assistance. If your heart is beating, you should get out of bed in the morning and do some freaking work.

3) Learning to cook and/or bake well takes a lot of time and experience. Just when I think I've mastered the art of creating a good meal, something turns out a total flop yet again and reminds me that I will always be making things that don't turn out. Last weekend I tried to make a banana cream pie (probably THE EASIEST PIE to make on earth) and it didn't turn out. For some reason, making food and having it not turn out is more frustrating than bad paper towels or lazy people. It makes me want to throw the bad food across the room. Generally though, I just SLAM it into the garbage can.

4) Perfect jeans don't exist. I've been on a search for the perfect jeans for probably about 12 years now, and have concluded that they are nowhere to be found. If I ever win the lottery, I'll pay a thousand bucks to have some custom ones made. Til then, I'll keep buying ill-fitting jeans.

5) Spam is eternal. Seriously. It's 2009, and spam on the internet is still around. Every day at work I'm greeted with messages about increasing my libido or finding a russian mail-order bride. It even sneaks into my yahoo mail sometimes. How is this stuff still in existance? Are there companies who write spam and send it out? They must be making some kind of money, otherwise the spam industry would be defunct. I'm guessing it's people without a solid command of the English language who are composing these messages, because they're always ripe with typos.

6) We are all turning into seniors. Thinking back to those good ol' university days, I can't believe the tiny amount of time I spent sleeping, and the huge amount of time I spent working, at school, doing homework, socializing, and doing a myriad of other activities. I'm still pretty busy, but by the time Friday night rolls around, all I want to do is soak my feet and watch tv while drinking a glass of wine. Our parties are ending earlier and we're all just getting tired.

7) Don't expect more from people than they can give. This is a very true statement that I for one would be wise to remember more often. And that's all I'm'a gonna say on this one, because it speaks for itself.

8) Kraft dinner is still the best mac and cheese out there. But you better believe you're going to pay dearly for it. This delicacy used to run you about 70 cents at your average supermarket. Now you're lucky if you can find it for under a dollar. It's generally around $1.49, sometimes even up to $1.69. OUTRAGEOUS. You may be tempted to go for the underdogs, like "Great value" brand. But this is as disappointing as it is cheap an experience.

9) People love free stuff. We're all suckers for free stuff. It's human nature, people.

10) Songs get stuck in heads. OK..... it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. But it's so true, and so annoying. Even the suggestion of a song is enough to get things going. Example: for the last 2 days at work we've had these postcard-ads sitting around that say "Be our guest" on them. Needless to say, all I can think of is, "Soup de jour, hot hor's d'ouvres/Why we only live to serve/Try the grey stuff, it's delicious/Don't believe me, ask the dishes!"

Our office is obsessed with hand sanitizer.

HHHHHEllo. Since we last spoke, I've been really sick, recovered, and ran a race, among other things.

First, the sickness. It was pretty boring just hanging out at home and being sick. When I wasn't sleeping it off or reading, I had the opportunity to watch quite a bit of tv, and realized that although daytime tv always seems like a special treat, it really, really isn't. Daytime shows that I absolutely despise include: The View, stupid cartoons on TVO, all soap operas, and "local" shows, eg. Dating 201, which supposedly talks about dating in Toronto and is just super lame.

Basically the only things worth watching during the day are Ellen and GSN (the Game Show Network). I caught a couple of episodes of "Just like Mom" which were super great. That show is so awkward. The male host, especially, seems to make moms and kids alike really squirmy. One episode ended in a tie between a boy and a girl. The girl spun the wheel first, and won a set of John Deere toys. (I would've probably cried.) Then the boy won the TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!! I felt pretty bad for the girl, who didn't get to go to Disney World and didn't even get decent toys.

I finally recovered from the illness around the Thursday/Friday mark. Friday night I travelled to Mississauga via the GO train to attend the Runners' Expo, where I had to pick up my race kit for Saturday's 5k. The Runners' Expo was semi-interesting. They gave me some free stuff, including a bag of Werther's, a Subway gift card, a t-shirt, and some Advil. I participated in such activities as taste-testing a protein shake (EWWWWWWWW) and doing a blind shoe test, where I was blindfolded and two shoes were put on my feet and then covered with black cloth, and then I walked around and had to choose which one was more comfortable. It was an Adidas booth. And guess what - the Adidas shoe was more comfortable. SURPRISE! I think the other shoe they chose was the most uncomfortable shoe known to humankind. I did get a free bottle of body wash for my trouble, so it was all worth it. I also bought some new running clothes and ate some free yogurt before I left.

Friday night, LATE, I decided to go for a run, since I hadn't done so in over a week because of my illness. I had a great run but this was probably a super bad idea, as I used up all my energy stores. On Saturday evening during the race, I never really "got into the groove" as they say, and though I finished with a semi-decent time, I think it was a bad idea to run the night before. Now I know. The race was pretty fun although it was FREEZING out. Some people were really really serious about it and others weren't at all. My conclusion is that runners come in all shapes and sizes, even obese men wearing breathe-right nasal strips can claim to be runners.

Immediately following the race, mom and I stopped at McDonald's for some grub, and headed back to mecca (St. Catharines). On Sunday we went out for lunch with both of my grandmothers, which I won't even comment on because I'm sure you can imagine what it was like.

In conclusion..... I need new shoes, I really need the weather to warm up BIG TIME especially for the long weekend (although I have no long weekend plans anyway so it doesn't matter too much), I should probably get my bike out again for the summer, and I've been craving good pizza for the last week and still haven't had any!!!