Short thoughts.

HELLO FRIENDS!!!!! I should really make this into a "vlog" so that you could see, via video, how excited I am when I greet you. Sorry it's been so long!

My life right now is basically stay-at-home-mom, but without kids. That's not really true. I'm still in school, but it's only two classes and they're in the evenings. During the day, I try not to mope and feel depressed about not having a job. Searching for a job is my full-time job right now. I also go to the gym SOMEtimes, try to clean up and do laundry, and make food. Plus I do crafty projects!

On Sunday is my dad's birthday, so my folks are coming to Toronto and we have to figure out where to take them for dinner. We want something within walking distance of our house, so we're currently debating between The Grand Hive and Bannock. Opinions?

I know I've talked about Loblaws at Maple Leaf Gardens before, but I have to mention it again because it's a place that I visit several times a week. Not only do they have every grocery item imaginable, but the potential for people-watching is almost as great as at the mall. I've started noticing the "regulars" though, and it's pretty hilarious. The best regular is this SUPER ANCIENT old man, who sits in one of the eating areas in the evenings with a full baguette (like one that's two feet long) and just chews away at it. He's very content just sitting and eating his bread and watching everyone pass by. My first thought is always - where did you hang out prior to November when this place opened? Did you have another spot where you sat and ate bread? Or was this the first time you really appreciated bread and now you just have to have a full baguette every day?

Meat.

Hey crew, hope your weekend was one of the best ever. Here's a little rundown for you: on Friday night, the gang and I went to Highway 61 Southern BBQ on Bayview for a whole lotta meat. We had to wait a pretty long time to get a table, but it ended up being worth it because this was one of the best meals I've had in an extremely long time. I ordered the baby back ribs with bourbon sauce, and shared with my sis Joy who had the beef brisket. Both were AMAZING. To the point where my sleeves were pretty much covered in sauce because I was yamming it in like a crazy person. Here's my friendo Will enjoying some meat (photo cred: TJ Goertz).


I think the enjoyment of all the meat was majorly enhanced by the music and the environment. It was this really hot upper room with low ceilings and wooden walls. The staff were all incredibly friendly and upbeat and awesome. When Mel ordered another pint of whatever beer she was drinking, they brought her a glass three-quarters full and said it was on the house because it was the end of the keg. Stuff like that is just nice, you know? Oh, and so there was this incredible folky band playing.... I can't remember what they were called and I really don't like that type of music generally. But it just fit the atmosphere and the food so well! The singer's voice was so amazing and we couldn't get over how good they were. I yelled out "We like you guys" between songs at one point, and that went over pretty well.

So Friday night was solid all-around. Saturday was really busy and ended with a great birthday party in the previously unexplored Long Branch neighborhood. I met this 4 year old named Maya there (the one kid at the party), and she was pretty hilarious. I told her I knew a baby named Maya, and she said, "So when that baby grows up, she'll have the same name as me." I told her she was right, but that the baby already does have the same name as her. I don't know if that really made sense to her though. Maybe in her mind babies are nameless until they get a little older.

And NOW I am dealing with a whole bunch of school idiocracy and trying to figure out what to do when you realize your group member is plagiarizing. Good times. Have a great Monday!

I'M BACK!

Seriously, FOR REAL this time, I am back. I have so many opinions in my mind and so many experiences to write about on this WEB LOG, that I'm really cheating the general public if I don't blog on a regular basis.

Lately I've been attending the lovely University of Toronto, working towards my Certified Human Resources Professional degree. I haven't had any luck trying to break into the elusive world of HR yet. It's odd, because a lot of people in my classes are already working in HR, without having a solid knowledge base or any experience at all. I know that I'm a pretty quick learner and a really hard worker, so what do they have that I don't? Probably just luck.

ANYWAYS.

Today I went to the new Loblaw's at Maple Leaf Gardens. I probably stop in there about 3-4 times a week, since it's right across the street, and it's the best grocery store I've ever experienced. I had to get some of the usuals, like eggs and other boring things, but I also had a hankering for some earl grey tea WITH ROSES. After going with my lovely friend Erin to the Windsor Arms Hotel last week for high tea, I can't stop thinking about how incredibly tasty that tea was.

The great thing about the new Loblaw's is they have all these specialized little sections for anything you could possibly want, and one of them is a tea section. Aside from the disgusting-looking clump of what looks like manure that is always prominently displayed on the counter, the tea section is pretty delightful. They always have free samples and when you start asking about a certain type of tea, they'll take down a bunch for you to sniff. I love smelling things and usually my love of smelling things makes people look at me a little oddly. BUT, at the tea section you are ENCOURAGED to take a huge whiff, which is so fun. I discovered a little gem called "Blend 103", which smelled incredible, and promises to be a "delicate blend" of teas (including earl grey) along with rose petals. I haven't tried it yet but I'm really excited to see if it tastes as good as it smells!!!!

Now I have to finish my accounting homework and bake some banana bread. Sayonara.

Books.

Anyone who knows me knows that I live for reading. Books excite me. I am a book hoarder. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I've decided I should start to review some of what I read, so you will all be privy to my strongly worded opinions. This idea immediately makes me think of the hundreds (actually thousands) of books I've read in my life that I haven't reviewed, but have wanted to talk to someone about after reading. Despite that daunting feeling and the slight urge to track down the majority of all books I've read, in order to read them again and properly review them, I will simply start now, from here on.

Last night I finished "Recipes for a Perfect Marriage" by Morag Prunty. Did I buy this because I'm getting married in 46 days and want to read marriage-themed books? No. I bought it because it was on the "3 for $10" table at the World's Biggest Bookstore. I actually pick up a lot of those clearance books, and it's a total lottery. I've found amazing books that I absolutely LOVE, and others that are so horrible that they go directly into the recycling bin. (That's my hugest 'YOU SUCK' statement to a book: refusing to pass it on to someone or put it in the giveaway pile, bypassing these options for a direct CHUCK, because no one else should be subjected to its awfulness.)

(Side note: Morag Prunty is an Irish author - I seem to find a lot of Irish authoress' works on clearance racks at bookstores, and so far, I've thoroughly enjoyed every one of them.)

Anyways, "Recipes for a Perfect Marriage" was a novel containing two interspersed stories, one from the perspective of a woman in her late thirties who had just gotten married, and the other, her grandmother. The book started with the younger woman, Tressa, wondering if she'd married the right guy, and knowing that she didn't really love her husband as much as she should - guiltily feeling like she married him just to be married. She had always looked up to her grandmother, Bernadine, and felt like she'd had such a perfect marriage to her (now dead) grandfather. But as Tressa reads Bernadine's stories, she realizes her grandmother had a past love and was somewhat forced into marrying James, her grandfather. Over the years she learned to love him, so that finally theirs was a marriage of love and partnership and respect, even though it didn't start out that way. Her grandmother's journals help Tressa realize that marriage isn't necessarily all about feeling 'in love' every single moment, but that it's a choice, and she makes some bad decisions before realizing that she does want to stay married to her husband.

Reading that summary, the book sounds boring and trite. It wasn't. However, I think the one overused feature in it was the fact that there was a recipe at the beginning of each book. I have read SO many novels that incorporate the food theme, how food and love go together, and especially where the grandmother is passing down recipes to the grandmother. I'm more than a little sick of it. Yes, we all know food is important, we all know we'll never bake and cook as well as our grandmothers did. Stop trying to bait my emotions with this tactic.

That being said, I really, really liked this book. Typically, books written for females involve a lot of crap about following one's heart and being in love, as well as decisions based on feelings, emotion, and not a whole lot of grey matter. I think marriage is much more about a choice to love someone despite your sometimes varying feelings for them, knowing full well that your commitment to that person won't equal goopy lovesick emotion all the time. So generally, my reaction to "chick lit" books where women run off and have affairs and do whatever they feel like at that moment isn't favourable. Which is why I really liked this book. Granted, (SPOILER ALERT) the main character did have an affair, which was ridiculous and not totally fitting with her behaviour previously in the book. BUT, I liked the author's emphasis on a real-ish marriage relationship, and the fact that life sucks a lot of the time. The recipes at the beginnings of the chapters were accompanied by quotes, such as "You don't have to feel love to give it" or "When it feels difficult to give, give more." I liked these quotes. They were refreshing and wise and real, and gave the book a tone of depth.

That's all. I would recommend this book - but probably not if you are being asked to pay full price for it. Then again, I don't pay full price for any book.

My take on NKOTBSB's Mash Up track.

Okay. When I first heard about NKOTBSB, obviously I realized it was this huge ploy to get females my age to relive their childhood and buy the new albums and go to the concerts. That's fine. I don't mind at all. I have very fond memories of both NKOTB and BSB.

HOWEVER.

If you're going to do this whole thing, bring back all these guys, actually legitimately try to market this thing and make a few dollars off these washed-up dudes, then DO IT RIGHT. Meaning, get a talented producer, good sound effects, good studio mixers, etc.

This was the product that was produced: (I recommend you listen to the whole song to get the full effect of my upcoming critiques).


I think we can agree: the song is HORRIBLE. I was honestly expecting something sort of good. Here are my top 3 beefs with this song:

1. Sloppy transitions. Whoever decided to do this mash-up had a good idea in theory, but didn't put more than half an hour of thought into how all the songs would fit together. Technically, I believe the definition of "mash-up" is that the songs are mashed together, maybe even somewhat seamlessly? This is more like various song clips sloppily stuck together with awkward pauses in between.

2. Brutal singing. I mean, come on guys. And, come on marketing guys! Yes, you need to have all the former members of the two bands in this new group - but do they really all have to sing? You couldn't have invested in some voice lessons, or just let the few talented singers step up to the plate?

3. PRODUCTION QUALITY: my largest beef. So the guys can't sing: FIX THEIR VOICES. And why not use the authentic sound effects from the original songs, instead of trying to 2011-ize them by making the whole song sound more modern and therefore less fun? I feel like I'm not explaining this accurately. But the whole thing just sounds like one of those "Starlight Productions" albums where it's like, "In the style of ABBA!" and not ACTUALLY them, you know? They sort of made an effort to sound like the original but don't even come close.
I WANTED original sound effects.

I am constantly puzzled by this mash-up, which really had potential to be a great nostalgic dance track and ballad all in one. Instead it's just an embarrassing talentless mess. Sorry guys.

Spring? Have you sprung?

I hate to be one of those people who talks about the weather, but seriously. This winter has dragged on forever and a day, and finally the other night it felt like spring. I sat in my favourite corner of the couch and opened the sliding door to the porch to let a fresh breeze in, and I felt ridiculously happy. But now, it's BACK TO BEING COLD!!!! At least we have been given a tiny foretaste of spring. I heard on a podcast the other day that the human body was designed for hotter temperatures, and it's much better at self-regulating in hotter weather - in other words, the body can cool itself down much better than it can heat itself up. I so agree. Hot weather just makes me happy.

Whenever I feel stressed, in my brain, I use the word "stressio" to describe it.

The other night I tried to make a pad thai dish. It turned out OKAAAAYYY, not super great, but not bad for my first attempt. I started by sauteeing some onions and garlic, and then adding some random frozen veggies that I happened to have: namely, peas and green beans. Pretty sure those aren't standard fare for pad thai, but I wasn't about to run out for more ingredients. Then I added the shrimp.... all instructions (the shrimp package, plus extensive online research) led me to believe that the shrimp would only take 2 minutes to become pink and translucent and done. But it took more like ten minutes. At that point I worried that I'd ruined it by cooking it beyond belief, but it was actually perfectly cooked. I added the shrimp/veg mixture to the cooked noodles, and added this package of pad thai sauce I bought. (Come on guys, it's my first time making this. I can't be expected to make the sauce from scratch.) I should've taken a picture but I didn't. It looked lovely and colourful. There are still leftovers in the fridge.

Today I am: cleaning, doing laundry, hanging up clothes in my room, going shopping with Steph, and that's it. You?

There is no better way to start your day than by listening to 80's Christian rock at a loud volume.

I don't know how to put a video into my blog post, so I'll just give you the link.
TURN IT UP. This is true 80's christian rock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yULcJSLIWoU&feature=related

Thoughts on Thursday.

I feel guilty sometimes about the small and stupid things that make me immensely happy. Here's a few examples:
- chocolate
- ridiculous novels by Marian Keyes
- watching MXC, Wipeout, or any show where people are wiping out
- laying on the couch with a glass of wine when I get home from work.
- clean sheets

I choose to believe that this just makes me an easily pleased, very happy person. NOT one who is amused by small things because I have a small mind.

The new Thursday night lineup SUCKS. "Perfect Couples" is the worst show ever on an American network, and 30 Rock isn't on until 10, by which point I'm half-asleep.

I NEED TO START A WORKOUT REGIME!!!!

This weekend I'm having a meeting with a place to possibly rent a chandelier for our wedding. This sounds ridiculous. I'm not a Bridezilla at all, and have been a pretty chill bride-to-be thus far, so don't think I'm some kind of cinderella-esque crazy person who needs a chandelier at her wedding. But because it's being held in a tent outside, lighting needs to be considered. Know what I mean?

Ways I know I'm getting old:
- I enjoy going to bed at 10pm.
- I enjoy eating prunes.
- I say "oh dear" every time I yawn.
- I can't get through the weekend without a nap or two.
- I look at teens on the subway and can't believe I was ever that young and annoying.
- I wear sweatpants a lot. Never in public though.

That's all.

Kleines geschenk fur dich. (Little present for you.)

Hi friendsicles! Tonight we're going to venture out to a restaurant called Trevor's Kitchen for Winterlicious. For those of you not in Toronto, Winterlicious is when normally-expensive restaurants offer a price-fixe menu for a few weeks, so you can go try them out. They're usually around $25 or $30 per person and include an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert.

Last summer we went to some place on Roncesvalles for Summerlicious, and it was really not that great. The food was just unexciting. And the decor and music were very odd. We felt like the staff looked down on us for ordering Summerlicious stuff. Afterwards we walked down the street to a wine bar and I had champagne while sitting on the patio. Now THAT was fun.

As some of you know, I'm getting married in about 7 months. We're not sure where to go for our honeymoon. Initially Jai completely mocked the idea of going to Sandals, because he said they made fun of it on Seinfeld. Then he changed his mind and decided he'd really like to go to Sandals. I wanted to go on a cruise. It turns out we're probably going on a cruise in March 2012, so I relented and said we could do Sandals for the honeymoon. But now I've actually looked into prices and it turns out Sandals is preeeeeeeeeeetty expensive. NOW WHAT???!!!!

I've become obsessed with this new show called Portlandia, created by Carrie Brownstein (formerly of Sleater-Kinney) and Fred Armisen of SNL. Only two episodes have aired so far, and it's the best thing ever. You know when something hits your funny bone exactly, 100%, and you just agree so totally with the humor? That feeling is rare. And that's how I feel about Portlandia. You can find a clip from it on youtube. I have already posted several on my Facebook. A new Portlandia episode debuts TONIGHT, so I'll have more clips for you soon.

My other current full-blown obsession is the show Big Love. I knew for the last couple years that HBO had a show about polygamy, but hadn't gotten around to watching it. [Side note: I have always been really interested in polygamy, extreme FLDS mormonism, and also regular old LDS mormonism. Not sure why, but possibly because one of my good friends growing up was mormon. And just to clarify, when I say really interested, I mean from a truly social standpoint... I can't quite figure out how people think some regular guy found golden plates that were meant to start a brand new religion. I'm not considering converting or anything. But I can't stop reading about mormonism, and about people that have "escaped" from it.] ANYWAYS. Back to the show Big Love. It's incredible. So interesting, quite believable, and really well made, as HBO shows tend to be. Very consistent characters and some very evil and amazing characters. There are several villains. I will describe them in a future post.

That's all for now, folks. What are you up to this weekend?

BAKING!

The Christmas baking I've done so far consists of the following:

(please note that these pictures are internet stock photos, NOT actual photos of what I made....)

- Sugar cookies: the classic. They're super good and colourfully decorated.

- Gingerbread cookies. Also super good.

- Savoury shortbread - namely, Rosemary Walnut Shortbread. Usually I make a sweet whipped shortbread, but I decided to go savoury this year. People may not like it.... (here's a picture of rosemary since the internet can't find a picture of my cookies)

- Pumpkin muffins. Okay, so these don't really count as Christmas baking, but I'm bringing them to mom's house so they count.

- Chocolate-almond popcorn. But I didn't like it that much, so I brought it to a party last night and didn't take home the leftovers. Ha.

WHAT IS THIS LIST MISSING? WHAT ELSE DO I REALLY NEED TO MAKE? Help me.

P.S.

My blog needs a new name. Submissions welcomed. The person who submits the winning name will receive a batch of cookies of their choice, baked by me.

A new era.

Welcome to a new era in my blogging life. I AM GOING TO START BLOGGING NOW, FOR REAL. I know that the three of you who regularly read this blog have stated several times that I should write far more frequently than I have been. The spark of motivation arrived on my doorstep this morning, and my brain exploded with ideas. Also, I looked at other people's blogs and was jealous of their commitment to blogging and their creativity, and I want to be like them!

So. Today's topic is, THE DETOX. Today is Day 9 of my 12-day Detox Adventure. I embarked on this project because I know I don't have the healthiest eating habits, and wanted to see if two weeks of really healthful eating would make any difference in my life.

There are some herbal supplements involved, but I really don't think they're doing anything for me. The diet consists of mainly vegetables. Some fruits are allowed but none of the good ones - my favourite fruits are bananas, oranges, and kiwi, but they are considered "tropical" and not allowed. The diet also allows unlimited amounts of fish, brown rice, and almonds. You can also have beans, lentils, eggs, and meat, but not a lot (only 20% of the diet should be made up of these.)

When I first started, I thought it would be two weeks of pure torture and that I'd be stuck eating salads for every meal - and gross salads at that, because you can't even have vinegar, which, mixed with EVOO (extra-virgin olive oil) is my absolute favourite salad dressing. But I've realised there are actually a lot of meal options. For breakfast I've been having eggs (except for today - more in a moment), lunch has been lentils and rice, snack of an apple or some rice cakes, and then vegetable soup for dinner. With a few variations, that's pretty much been my diet for the last 8 days.

I thought I would miss bread the most, because I generally eat some form of bread every day, and at more than one meal. I haven't really missed it at all, except when the office ordered Swiss Chalet for us last week, and I couldn't have the bun along with my salad and chicken. I seriously love those little Swiss Chalet rolls..... so so so so yummy. But other than that I've been fine and not at all tempted by bread. The most difficult things have been the lack of sugar, and the lack of alcohol. I'm used to eating something sugary - a cookie or something chocolatey - at the end of every lunch and dinner. Not the best habit, but that's what I do. My meals now never feel complete and I just don't feel "done" or satisfied at all without my little sweet at the end. I've also missed white wine. I didn't realise how accustomed I was to having a glass of wine in the evenings, either while I'm getting dinner ready or else later on.

The most prominent observation I've had through this whole thing has been my energy level. Generally, especially now in the freezing months, I'm a tired person. I'm not non-energetic, but I could always do with a nap. On the weekends I always make sure to take a 2-hour nap on one of the days, preferably both, just so I feel well-rested going into Monday. During the week, while sitting at my desk, I'm usually yawning throughout the day and wishing I was napping. But the past 8 days, especially the last few days, my energy level has been great. I even tried to lay down for a nap on Sunday and COULDN'T SLEEP. Which has never ever happened to me in the history of my life. I haven't yawned at work at ALL. It's remarkable. It really makes me wonder what the source is... not having sugar in my system? Not eating flour/bread? I wish I knew.... I do plan to go back to eating a semi-normal diet as of Friday, but I will definitely incorporate more of the low-carb meals that I've been eating in hopes that the energy levels will continue.

Oh - so about today's breakfast. There were all these signs in the lobby of our office building the last few days, inviting people to come to a FREE HOLIDAY BREAKFAST today. I came in an hour early to enjoy the spoils and spend some time studying for an exam I have tonight. I walked into the building, hopes held high, expecting, perhaps, some eggs, potatoes, toast - standard breakfast fare. At least something hot. Instead my ears were blasted by a bleach-blonde male saxaphone player's antics in the corner while I was handed a cardboard box tied with a silver ribbon. Hmmmmm. I picked up a cup of coffee (poured out of a samovar - weird - I believe those are only for tea), and went upstairs to open this "breakfast". 4 things were inside: a sad, limp croissant, a small grease-soaked muffin, a hard cookie with green stuff on it, and an old-looking rectangular brownie. It was so pathetic and anticlimactic! I obviously couldn't eat any of it, and had to settle for the bruised apple in my purse. What a disappointment. You really broke my heart, Oxford Properties. I appreciate the effort, but next year, please give us something non-processed - or at least HOT. Thank you.

I'm back?

Hello, friends! Sorry I've been so absent as of late. And that I didn't finish those Montreal food related thoughts. All I can tell you at this point is that Griffintown Cafe in Montreal is THE BEST restaurant in the city. Possibly in all of Quebec.

Life has become ridiculously busy and I haven't had time for this blog. That's my only excuse.

Just now I woke up really early (7:30) (not cool because it's Saturday) and had a fleeting thought of going for a run, which I haven't done in approximately one year. The thought quickly left, thank goodness.

Last night the boyfriend and I tried to make some sort of tomato sauce/pasta sauce/pizza sauce to use up a bunch of tomatoes in my fridge. We removed the tomato skins, chopped the tomatoes up, and started cooking them with some garlic and a bunch of spices. So far so good. But then I made the bad decision of adding a container of tomato sauce that I'd made maybe two weeks ago, which had been hanging out in the fridge since then. As soon as I added it, the whole thing turned really brown. For awhile after that, Jai insisted it still tasted fine. But then he kept putting more spices in and trying to make it better and it just got worse and worse. So gross. We chucked it and ordered pizza. Then I made chocolate cake. The end.

Trip food

This week I'm in Montreal, working with a few others from our Toronto office. We were sent here to avoid the G20 craziness going on at home, and also to unofficially check things out here and eat lots of food. My All-Star team and I have had the chance to sample quite the variety of food on this trip.... so let me update you on the food situation thus far.

First off, while in the Toronto airport on Sunday, I ordered a "Crispy Chicken Sandwich" at a restaurant inappropriately named "Beaches". I waited approximately 23 minutes to receive this sandwich. It consisted of a bun, mayo, lettuce, and 3 disgusting floppy chicken strips shoved inside. Needless to say this was a bad start to my week. I recovered quickly but was thwarted again when West Jet informed me that they don't serve coke products!!! After grudgingly agreeing to accept a diet pepsi instead, I relaxed in my double-leg-room exit row seat and gabbed with Alisa about the stuff of life.

Upon arrival in Montreal, we made our way to Les 3 Brasseurs, a generic sports pub on rue Ste Catherine, to meet up with the guys. Their menu advertised something called a flamm and claimed it was "better than pizza!" Seriously guys? You better have a darn good product if you choose to market it as better than pizza. We all know that nothing, NOTHING, is better than pizza. The flamm arrived, and was fine, but basically similar to a pizza except on a pita instead of something more crust-like. SO NOT BETTER THAN PIZZA.

Monday morning we had to grab these breakfast vouchers at the hotel in order to get the free breakfast included in our deal. The hotel restaurant featured a waitress who hated her life and didn't talk or smile. We ate really blah meals there, not even worth discussing. Lunch was some sort of food court fare. Oh yeah, I had a whopper jr. from Burger King and a side salad. It wasn't very good. Dinner had to be a quick affair so we'd make it back in time to watch the Bachelorette. James, Alisa and I found an Irish pub a few streets over and decided to try it out. There was this odd table set up in the middle of the restaurant with some mini sandwiches, weird little sausages, and cut up veggies. We couldn't figure out if it was for a private function or was just open to everyone, so I dared James to go fill a plate from that table, and he actually did it. The sausages were suuuper good. For dinner I had a bison burger which was REALLY good. No better than any other bison burger I've had, mind you. But bison is just good meat. Good solid meat. I recommend it. The menu also touted it as being "heart-friendly"- you think this is true?

Tuesday morning we breakfasted at the hotel again. At lunch I tried out a food court restaurant called Taco. Had a good taco. We went out for mexican food in the evening to this place called Carlos & Pepe's. It was so hot in there! Food was alright. I had that whole fajitas deal where you get a container of tortillas and a steaming plate of meat and vegetables. Pretty good but I could only eat two fajitas. The food in general was just meh - no one raved about it but there wasn't much to complain about either.

Wednesday morning we were informed that the hotel restaurant was closed down due to lack of business. ??? So we were given vouchers for Cora's across the street. This seems to be a pretty popular breakfast place, but we only got to choose between cereal, a bagel, or oatmeal, and nothing from the regular menu, so it wasn't too crazy. I chose oatmeal. Obviously. At lunch I enjoyed the leftover rice from Taco the day before.

Wednesday dinner: THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE of the week. I'll write about it later - it deserves its own blog entry.

April Update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. I'm back. So much to talk about, right guys?

First off. Does anyone have a solution for extremely puffy eyes in the morning? No matter how much sleep I get, my eyes are suuuuuper puffy every single morning. I even bought this product that claims "late nights will be your little secret" or something ridiculous like that, and I'm pretty sure it does absolutely nothing. You roll it on under your eyes and it has caffeine in it which is supposed to reduce the puff. But it's all just a show. So if anyone has any tips (that DON'T involve laying down with cucumber slices or cold tea bags for 10 minutes, because I don't have 10 extra minutes to lay there) let me know.

I really dislike it when people yell on the phone. I just experienced a yeller on the phone, and the best part was that she works for THE SAME COMPANY AS ME but was treating me like the enemy. How about, even if you disagree with someone, you keep your voice at the same decibel while you talk about it? Got that? Deal.

Okay, what else. I've been doing this "Booty Camp Fitness" for the past few weeks. It's a women's-only class designed to "whip you into shape", as the website claims. The classes are brutally hard, but really enjoyable. We do constant push ups, burpies, jumping jacks, and other torturous activities. I wish I could do it 5 nights a week instead of two. Seriously. It feels SO GOOD at the end when you're done. I really don't think it's whipped me into shape though. Maybe just made me realize how out of shape I truly am. But I think I can do more push ups now than when I started.

I heard on the radio this morning that Toronto Blue Jays baseball hats are like, THE trend in NYC right now. Very weird.

Lately I've been craving a DQ blizzard like nobody's business. Problem is, aside from the 600+ useless calories I'd be ingesting, I'm seriously lactose intolerant. So even if I had a blizzard, I'd be suffering from extreme stomach pain for a day afterwards, so it's probably not worth it. Someone needs to invent lactose-free blizzards. Currently the only lactose-free ice cream available in stores is ALSO sugar-free. Seriously, did you need to combine these two things? It's completely gross. I had a sugar-free, lactose-free ice cream sandwich and the pseudo-chocolate cookie parts tasted like cardboard and dirt mixed. The ice cream itself wasn't bad. So - just inject some cookie dough and we're good to go. Ok, ice cream companies?

I'm currently reading a book called "The Book of Awesome" and I like it. It makes me really happy. You should google it and enjoy yourself.

Sears.

In the last few weeks, I've discovered a place I really enjoy hanging out: the upper levels at Sears. There are so many reasons why this is a great spot to chill. Firstly, almost NO ONE shops at Sears, so it's generally pretty much empty, save for one or two staff members. Secondly, it feels like you're in a complete time warp. The clothes are a mix of trends from days of yore, mother-of-the-bride outfits, prom outfits, and just really tacky items. The music is elevator-style. The furniture is plentiful and worn-in, so you can just basically sit and CHILL. Also, if you feel the inkling to buy anything, everything is always on sale. There's always a giant store-wide clearance going on, so you can for sure get 40% off, if not more. It's just a really comfortable place to hang. You can walk around, try items on if you want, or just sit in an easy chair and wait to see if any people show up. You could probably take a nap and go unnoticed. I think part of the reason I love hanging at Sears is because it reminds me of being a little kid and shopping with my mom. But all nostalgia aside, Sears remains a solid place to relax, use an empty bathroom, relax in a chair, and pretend it's 1989.
My only question is - how do they remain in business???????

Helloooooo, summer dress.

Hi guys! The title of this entry is from a real-life experience. Once, in that awkward four hours between a wedding ceremony and the reception, my best friend Mary and I went for a walk on the beach at Port Dalhousie, the muddied waters of Lake Ontario in St. Catharines. Some dude enjoyed the fact that two lovely ladies were walking barefoot along the beach and said, "Hellooooooo, summer dress." Not sure why it was singular though. I guess only one of us had a dress worthy of saying hello to.

I don't have a lot going on these days - it's rainy, my tennis elbow hurts, things are normal. So instead this entry will be a prehumous tribute to my aforementioned best friend Mary. Here are some of the great things we've done over the years:

We decorated an old record player in blue fabric and white rick-rack and named it the Hot Box. We also decorated all of our records by cutting out pictures of our friends' faces and gluing them to the centres of the records, so that when we listened to music, we could also look at a rotating face. Then we threw a vinyl party where the price of admission was one record. That was probably our most successful party to date. We also made HOMEMADE fortune cookies for that party. It took several hours and several burned fingers but they turned out really well.

We acquired a really old typewriter and thought it would be hilarious to anonymously mail our friends and acquaintances some extra photos we had laying around. Some of them were from a trip to the zoo, and others were from a roll of film we found and got developed (it turned out to be honeymoon photos from a happy couple). We would put one picture in an envelope and then type the address on with the old typewriter, and then mail them out. We really loved doing this even though our friends obviously knew it was us.

We snuck into several parties at the Niagara-on-the-Lake Chamber of Commerce and just acted like we were supposed to be there, including one for some kind of soccer league. We were pretty good at just chatting people up and going along with whatever they said, and mostly just acting really confident so no one would question our presence.

We waitressed together one summer at a horrible restaurant called Roasters, where we had to wear GIGANTIC red "patio shirts" with black pants. They were men's XL button up shirts and the short sleeves came down to our elbows, and when they were untucked they were almost to our knees. But of course they were gorgeously tucked in while we were working. We had two alcoholic bosses named Nakos and Tolis who strutted around town checking on their leather stores. We got in trouble all the time for absolutely everything, and had to do ridiculous amounts of work because the restaurant was short staffed. We also had a co-worker named Ed who once invited us over to his house, where he turned off all the lights and showed us a Guns 'n Roses live DVD with FULL SURROUND SOUND and even a few strobe lights. We weren't too impressed.

We went on a caribbean cruise and met a man in his 60's who managed to insert the phrase "sex on the beach" into every conversation. He volunteered for a lot of games and stunts on board. A few days into the cruise, after overhearing him talking to several people, we figured out he'd been on this exact same cruise EIGHT TIMES. Like - same ship, same crew, same islands. On this same cruise we also met Oprah the Donkey on St. Maarten.

One time, fairly late at night, we stole a pylon from a construction site, then went to a Tim Hortons and put the pylon in the middle of the drive-thru road, but positioned it so that the person driving would only see it after they'd rounded the corner and were going to the window. Here's a pic of what it looked like:

It was really great because as soon as people rounded the corner, they'd have no idea what to do. The driveway was actually way narrower than that by the way. Some would get out and move the pylon but a few actually reversed all the way out of the drive-thru, parked the car, and went inside. SO hilarious.

And finally, our best and most hilarious feat:

We used to do this grand activity we made up, called Pick Up And Deliver. It involved driving around the Niagara area, seeking out houses who'd left junk outside for the garbage truck. We liked to pick up these items, and deliver them (stealthily) to friends. We left a framed photo in a tree at Chris' house and an ab-flex on Dave's car. Once we put huge bags of leaves on all our friends' cars when they were at a party. We thought the cars looked like stegosauri, but our friends were not impressed. We once found a giant old-style tv, and called up a couple friends to help us lift it into the truck. We then drove it to our friend Rob's house and left it on the doorstep. I think his mom was really pissed off. (A few weeks later, Rob filmed the tv being dropped off a giant cliff, then drew me a treasure map to go find the smashed tv at the bottom.) We didn't give up on Rob though - our most enjoyable Pick Up and Deliver was the time we found an old exercise bike and decided Rob needed to have it. We parked down the road, and I had such an adrenaline rush going that I picked the bike up out of the truck with one arm, jogged down the street with it, and left it in Rob's driveway. We then repositioned the car, and hunched down to watch until someone discovered it. After awhile, someone came home (Rob's dad maybe) and just moved the bike to the side of the driveway. When he went inside, we ran out again to put it smack dab in the middle of the driveway. Rob eventually found it and wasn't impressed. Mary and I loved it though.

And those are just a few epic stories of Mary and I. OH! We also once drove tractors around on Mary's street, which was super fun. Now she lives in BC with her husband and unborn child, and our adventures are few and far between.

Books, movies and food.

My hugest apologies for not posting in such a long time!!!! Begging your forgiveness.

Today in Survival History, Navy Commander John Collins invented the Ironman Triathalon to settle a debate on which athletes were the fittest - runners, swimmers or bikers.

Sooooo, in two days I'm headed to the magical land of Orlando, Florida. It's probably going to be cold there, but I should be able to have some good times anyways. Our hotel has a HEATED outdoor pool which I may choose to swim in if there are no kids around. Kids make pools really bad places to be for a plethora of reasons, most importantly, their urine in the pool and all the screaming and running. I also plan to do a lot of reading, walking, golfing, relaxing, and crocodile/alligator avoiding.

I'm currently reading "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell" by Susanna Clarke, and I can't even express to you how much I LOVE this book. It's about a magician in England a couple of centuries ago and I can't get enough of it. Thanks to Stephen for lending it to me. You probably won't get it back, ever.

I'm pumped to see the new Alice in Wonderland movie when it comes out soon. It's in 3D! This seems to be the new norm for movies. Maybe in 5 years, all movies will be in 3D. And then all our kids will grow up only knowing about 3D movies and no regular 1D or 2D movies. It's sad that my future children won't be able to experience the pleasures of VHS.

I know you guys love to hear about my food adventures, but I haven't eaten anything too stand-out lately. I swore off hot dogs a long time ago but have been craving them lately. My mom insists that hot dogs contain cow eyelids and this just grosses me out to the max. I've tried the soy/tofu hot dog equivalents but they're basically inedible. I need to find some type of hot dog that is only made with regular cow parts and not eyelids or toenails. Any suggestions?

Haiti, the Bachelor, and my Eyes.

Hi friendsicles. (Like popsicles, but friends instead.) How the heck are you? I sometimes feel guilty for not updating this thing more. My guilt usually goes away in about 7 seconds though.

So the ongoing crappy chaos in Haiti still makes me super depressed, and I just HOPE that things improve somewhat. I can't think about it too much otherwise I just wish I was down there and could do something actual, you know?

In other (petty) news, I watched the Bachelor last night, and it was soooooooo good. Psycho Michelle FINALLY got booted off, thank goodness. I'm fairly positive that although she constantly talks about how she really, really, really wants a husband, she will never get married. No one wants a desperate whiner. Also Elizabeth the Game-Player was not given a rose. Her signals were super confusing and she kept totally misinterpreting what was going on. She was really annoying and frustrating. I can't totally figure out why all the girls hate Vienna. Yes she's young, and she talks too much about her and Jake's date, but I don't see her as that bad otherwise. It seems like next week, there will be even more DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAA so stay tuned for that, folks. Seriously.

Today I have another eye doctor appointment. You'll remember that debacle a few weeks ago during which a so-called optometrist got really confused, changed my prescription a ton, and also felt the need to give me crazy eye drops that made my eyes go huge and blurry. I was sitting in the chair, reading letters off charts, and he kept getting so muddled and asking ME if he should change my perscription. Isn't that your job, buddy? He wasn't wearing a white coat, so that should've been my first red flag. Anyway, I walked out of there with some kind of bogus perscription that consists of numbers and symbols. When I had it expertly translated, I was told that APPARENTLY my eyes had miraculously gotten much better and I now needed a much weaker perscription.

This is a pure lie. I've had glasses since I was 14.... so that's 15 years total. And every time my eyes have been checked, they've been a bit worse than the time before. So I have a really hard time believing that they improved that much. I wasn't ready to lay down like 60 bones for new contacts when I don't trust the prescription, ya know? So I'm going for a second opinion today - this time NOT at Wal-Mart Optical. Yeah, I know that was probably my first big mistake. NEVER again. I'm pretty sure Dr. Ikjgafidgmawaye or whatever his name was just wrote some arbitrary numbers on a page and gave it to me to get rid of me. (And I use the term DOCTOR loosely.)

So, I'll keep you guys posted on the sitch. Now back to my coffee. SECONDCUPRULES.

Haiti.

I feel horrible about the earthquake in Haiti. I can't even express it. I wish I could help more than just donating money. I wish I could go down there and do something productive.
My parents lived in Haiti for a year, during 2005-06, and have a lot of friends down there, who may or may not still be alive. I spent Christmas there in 2005 and loved it. I can't imagine the devastation that the city of Port-au-Prince is facing.
Please go to http://www.redcross.ca/helpnow/ and donate to help with the relief efforts.